Southern Tour Part Two: Natchez, Plantations and New Orleans

The second leg of my southern adventure was moonlight, magnolias and mayhem with equal parts Plantation-a-palooza and New Orleans hedonism. If ever there was an example of the dichotomy between two culturally disparate places it's the old school Bible belt that is Mississippi and the dirty little secret that is The Big Easy.

From Memphis, we boarded Luxury Gold's business class motor coach and headed south to our final destination, New Orleans. Since it's a nearly six-hour drive, Luxury Gold broke up the trip with an overnight stay at the Monmouth Plantation in Natchez, Mississippi.

Built in the early 19th century, Monmouth has recently undergone an extensive restoration following decades of neglect. The home and rooms (many with their original furnishings) are impeccably decorated. The 26-acre grounds are beautifully maintained and include rolling trails amongst woods, ponds and gardens. In addition to the main house, guests rooms are also located in converted barns, carriage houses and other original plantation buildings.

My room for the evening is the former Master's suite. I spend a restful night's sleep in the suite and bed of John Quitman who purchased Monmouth in 1824. I'm told the following morning at breakfast that Quitman died on the premises of Legionnaire's Disease in 1858. As I nervously cough into my coffee, I pray that they burned his sheets.

Gracious Living

Monmouth is the first of three plantations we'll visit on our way to New Orleans. The second being Frogmore, a working cotton plantation with restored slave quarters (for exhibition, not practical use), and gift shop. The reality of slavery gets to me and I try put it all out of my mind by humming the theme from "Gone with the Wind" or imagining myself as Lucille Ball as scores of chorus boys in fox hunt togs serenade me to "Mame." None of this works.

Along the way to our next destination, we make a pitstop off at Mammy's Cupboard, a roadside restaurant housed inside of the hoop skirt of a 30 foot tall brick and mortar mammy. Although the iconography is ironically disturbing, the lemon cream pie is to die for.

Our final plantation of the trip is Houmas House, which on numerous levels is quite possibly the gayest plantation I'm likely to visit in this lifetime.

Our tour guide, a Mrs. Danvers-esque woman in period hoop skirt informs us that the home was used as the set for the 1964 camp horror flick "Hush... Hush, Sweet Charlotte" starring Bette Davis, Olivia de Havilland and Agnes Moorehead. And just for good measure, the current owner, a single gentleman who held a wedding for his dogs on the premises, had one room in the mansion lovingly restored to the time when Davis lived there during filming.

Bette Davis room, single gentleman owner, wedding for dogs? I'm doing the math and coming up with some familiar numbers. When I press Mrs. Danvers on this, she snaps, "I know what you're gettin' at, and I will not answer that question!"

New Orleans at Last

After a day of rural apologist tourism, the fast and loose streets of The Big Easy are a sight for sore eyes. The long day on the road through Mississippi and Louisiana has also whet my appetite for New Orleans cuisine.

Luxury Gold has us booked the tour group at The Hotel Monteleone, one of the city's oldest and finest hotels. Known for it's famed moving Carousel Bar in the lobby, The Monteleone offers high-end comfort but above all convenience to hot spots throughout the city's French Quarter.

Our first stop is at The New Orleans School of Cooking where Chef Kevin Belton of PBS's "New Orleans Cooking with Kevin Belton" gives a demonstration making classic New Orleans treats: gumbo and pralines. Charming, informative, and above all, skilled at the stove, Bolton's dinner and banter provided an ideal introduction to the cuisine of the Crescent City.

Belton also offers terrific suggestions on how to get the most out of a trip to New Orleans. His main suggestion is to see more than just the French Quarter. Fortunately, Luxury Gold already had this covered. The following morning we embarked on a bus tour of the various neighborhoods in New Orleans led by a local history and culture expert.

Our voyage took us past the Elysian Fields trolly stop where streetcars (no longer named "Desire") run. We visit an above ground cemetery for a history lesson on how life's inevitability is handled in a city build below sea level. We have the best cup of coffee in the city inside Louis Armstrong Park.

Later on that day, I take advantage of some free time indulge in something that New Orleans does better than most cities - oysters. Fortunately for me, there are a plethora of terrific oyster bars and restaurants within easy walking distance from the Monteleone. Taking Chef Belton's advice, I hit several. Highest marks go to the over-crowded Acme Oyster House for their uber fresh raw half shell oysters with hot sauce, and Mr. Ed's Oyster Bar and Fish House for the finest fried oysters I've ever eaten.

On New Orleans infamous Bourbon Street, you'll also find a bonafide gay bar district. Dance Clubs OZ and Parade above the Bourbon Pub are across the street from each other. And mainstay bar Cafe LaFitte in Exile (which is the oldest continuously operating gay bar in the country) is a mere block away. I was last at these places at the city's infamous annual Southern Decadence event a decade ago where I arrived in the city as a couple and went home single. Yeah - these bars are those kinda places.

It would be difficult if not impossible not to encounter an impromptu dixieland jazz parade while staying in New Orleans, and on my last night in the city, after a satisfying meal at the famed Arnaud's restaurant, I pick up a ticket for a performance at Preservation Hall. After hearing an hour of the purest jazz I've ever experienced, it's on to The Spotted Cat on Frenchmen Street in the neighboring Marigny neighborhood for some late night revelry to more live jazz.

On my final day in the city, I take in breakfast at the Monteleone. This morning, the special is eggs benedict with crab meat on a beignet. It is a delicious as it sounds and worth the additional hours I'll be putting in on the treadmill to take off the pounds I've gained during my Southern adventure. I may have courted diabetes and hypertension, but in New Orleans, I did it in style.